Lists, Personal, Reviews

Confessions: A Top Ten List

Subtitle: What happens when you realize you may actually be a hipster. By the mainstream cultural standard only, of course.

if-only

Let me be clear, I am not a hipster. Hipster is a term that now describes a sub-culture that was initially intended to value independent thought and progressive politics, but instead describes intentional mainstream “obscurism”. And I am not…whatever I just described.

But I like craft beer. And Bob Dylan. And Joan Baez. And Fleet Foxes. And Morphine. And The Smiths. I like milkmaid braids and knit hats. I own my weight in flannel.

(Regarding that last one, I place the blame squarely on Nirvana. I do, however, draw the line at flower crowns. Let’s just say that ain’t never gonna happen. We all have limits.)

I drink my mint (grown at home!) ice water out of a mason jar while sitting at my desk at work, where I’m a science librarian. I make kale and spinach smoothies for breakfast and I cook buckwheat pancakes on weekends. Ice Cream? No. I buy my Mediterranean mint gelato from Whole Foods, as well as my favorite dark chocolate with sea salt (and who, pardon my language, the fuck pays $9 dollars for a chocolate bar? Because I definitely do, against my better, rational judgement). In regards to reading, do I read standard zombie novels? Nope, no World War Z for me! That’s just…too mainstream – I mean, seriously, it was made into a Brad Pitt film. Personally, I go for Pontypool Changes Everything – also made into a film…starring no one I can name.

And then, I read all of the above, and think “Holy shit, I’m practically…mockable.”

Tomorrow. Tomorrow it’s Dan Brown and James Patterson and Budweiser. Pseudo-problem solved. And my bank account will thank me.

Now that I’ve shared my deep, dark, worrisome secret with you…

It’s confession time, that’s always fun (as hosted by The Broke and the Bookish). Or they can be. In that vein, this list is a mix of fun and not so fun blogging confessions. Given the nature of my not-so-serious introduction, do realize you can take all of these with a grain of salt.

10. I will judge your blog design. Sad, but true. If your content is good, I’ll read it regardless, but  still…

(That being said, I understand my blog deisgn is not everyone’s cup of tea either)

09. I will cringe a little if you use amazeballs, fangirl, squee, etc. I just will. My inner grammarian is a total pedant, I hope your not offended.

08. I don’t understand the appeal of YA. I don’t think it’s bad and I don’t judge anyone for reading it, I just don’t get it. I imagine others feel the same way about my love of Stephen King or quirky literature.

07. I read the first few chapters of a book, then the end, and then the rest of the book. Scandalous, I know, but I like to know how something will turn out before fully committing to it. I also write inside of my books.

06. I often start a writing a review before I’ve finished a book. I don’t actually know if this is normal or not.

05. I am entirely as obsessed with Bob Dylan as I seem. The same is true about Stephen King.

04. I’m a wicked procrastinator. Case in point, this post is late. Top Ten Tuesday…on a Wednesday.

03. I worry that I’m trying to do too much (books, food, music) on this tiny corner of the internet and therefore haven’t developed a distinctive voice. I also worry, that by liking the lesser known authors that I do, I’ll never gain a large audience. I am okay with this (because honestly, how many of you actually made it through my logorrheic introduction? If you did, I’ll love you forever.).

02. Comments. We all love comments. No one likes comments solely for self-promotion. Think politely before leaving that link.

01. I want to, but I don’t like Goodreads (despite being a stats nerd). Or John Green (he seems like an awesome person though). Or The Hunger Games. There, I said it.

What about you? Any confessions you’re dying to get off your mind? Like you put a lame grammar joke in your blog post and you’re worried no one will get it? Because I would totally understand that.

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