Lists, Reviews

Don’t Even Go There: A Top Ten List

This week’s list is rather subpar, so my apologies. I couldn’t even make it to ten, and most of these have been mentioned before (I usually like to keep things as non-repetitive as possible). Guess I was too caught up in the royal baby news. Just teasing. Sort of. I am very curious as to the name, I am personally hoping for Theodore. No worries, I’m prepared to be disappointed. Back to the topic at hand, I generally believe something out of every genre can be well done. I feel strange, I have very little to say about this week’s list. It’s so unlike me.

Anywhere

The following are eight topics I typically avoid. In no particular order, except number one really is number one:

8. For fans of Gone Girl/Twilight/50 Shades/The Da Vinci Code.  I really did not like any of those (yes, even Gone Girl). To be honest, I’m not even that fond of Harry Potter. Blasphemy, I know.

7. Love Triangles. This might be the only time in my life that I advocate this, but take Johnny Depp’s advice: “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” Exactly folks. Don’t cheat.

6. Religion. I grew up in a strongly religious household and despite having moved out and on, I’ve still managed to retain quite a bit of Latin. Consider that an unexpected bonus. That being said, I don’t like reading about it in fiction.  Strangely enough, I do enjoy reading about mythology.

5. Instant Love (also known as Instalove). Love is not instant. Lust is. Attraction is. But a ‘now until the end of time’ love is not. And it takes more than a day to develop. It may even involve living together. Apparently this makes me sound unromantic according to my blog stats. Tell me, am I too cynical? Although as Bonnie’s been told, just wait, it’ll happen (scroll to the bottom of the review for the charming comment).

4. Child Abandonment. Been through it, don’t need to read about it. Although occasionally I do anyway…

3. Stream of Consciousness. Do I appreciate stream of consciousness as a narrative device? Yes, I’ve even read a few novels written in that style, but it is certainly not my preference. I have to live in my own head, which, frankly, is hard enough.

2. Teenagers. Is nearly every single character a teenager? I’m probably not going to read it. Even when I was a teenager, I wasn’t really a teenager. That being said, a well done coming of age tale can be wonderful.

And finally (though I prefer a book)…

Spiders

Worst. Nightmare. Ever.

1. Spiders. Hate ‘em. Passionately. They are maybe the only thing that makes me squeal in fear. And yes, before you wonder, there really are books (of the fiction sort) that focus on spiders. Add vicious, aggressive aliens and fiery airplane crashes and you have the trifecta of things that terrify me.

So what do you avoid? Anyone believe in love at first sight? More importantly, any thoughts on what the royal baby’s name will be?

1/2

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