Lists, Reviews

A Thin Line Between Love and Hate: Top Ten Irritating Literary Characters

Disclosure: I’m rarely profane in my posts. However, today is an exception. If you’re likely to be offended by the use of an inappropriate four letter word there are two options: skip today’s list or read the list, glossing over Travis Maddox.

characters

Do you ever get frustrated by characters in a book?  I generally try not to get to irritated by fictional people (there are enough real ones to keep me busy), but there are certain characters that I have little love for, though I rarely keep track.  This week’s top ten list , the most annoying characters EVER (as hosted by The Broke and The Bookish), required me to come up with some semblance of a list. Most of these characters are from books I enjoy, save said character.

In no particular order, except number one really is number one:

10. This spot is reserved for any character who is guilty of the following: saying cray-cray, amazeballs,  or trying to pass of irregardless as an actual word. Common usage cannot will irregardless into acceptance (it’s important to note that my spell check says it’s correct – it’s not). To prove I’m not overly punctilious (or the world’s biggest pedant), I’ll admit to using the phrase “whatevs, dude” on more than one occasion. And admitting to the likelihood of their being one or more grammatical (or spelling) errors in this post.

9. Pollyanna (Pollyanna). That sort of optimism goes against the underpinnings of my personality. If you try to change my perspective, I’ll be forced to point out that you are, in fact, likely in denial about yours.

8. Angel Clare (Tess of the d’Urbervilles). If you’re 95% an intractable, sanctimonious prig…

7. Mrs. Bennett (Pride and Prejudice). Stop talking, stop talking now.

6. Scarlett O’Hara (Gone with the Wind). Possibly the only time a single character has been the primary reason I refuse to finish a book…

5. Emma Woodhouse (Emma). I am stealing this (with credit) from Just Book Reading. Emma is annoying, spoiled, frivolous, nosy, gossiping, inconsiderate, manipulative, and self-centered.

4. Catherine & Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights). How a book can be so beloved when all the characters are detestable baffles me…

3. Edward Fairfax Rochester (Jane Eyre). I love Jane Eyre, I truly do. But Mr. Rochester is a cross-dressing, manipulative, lying, selfish, attempted polygamist. That being said, I forgive him and consider Jane a lucky woman.

2. Travis Maddox (Beautiful Disaster). Hi, I’m Travis. I’m in love with my best friend PIGEON (I named her that myself). However, when I get mad at her, I bring girls home from the bar and have a threesome outside her bedroom door. Then, a few weeks later I tell her I fucking love her and all is forgiven. Why would you tell someone (for the FIRST time) that “I fucking love you”? I don’t want to hear that. You could switch a couple of those words around and I might appreciate that sentiment (sorry, I couldn’t resist – I promise it won’t get any more obscene than that). Realistically though, if that statement were to come out of my mouth there would be a “with” somewhere in that sentence. And while I admire the versatility of the word fuck (how many words can so easily alter their part of speech from adjective, verb, adverb, noun, to interjection), when juxtaposing the word’s indiscriminate use with Travis’s temper – it’s all leads to irritation. However, it is important to note that there’s only 62 more days until Walking Disaster! The only explanation I can offer – I’m a reading masochist.

1. Bella Swan (Twilight). What can I say that hasn’t already been said?

So there you have it – ten characters that annoy me. Who annoys you? And please someone agree with me that Pigeon/Pidge is a terrible nickname…

Image: ComicVine

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